Becoming Cat

‘I don’t belong here in a world full of strangers,

it was all someone else’s idea.’  T. Waits.

Becoming Cat.

I watch Poe sleep. Draw him. Lose myself in him. Because I need to. I need to lose this ‘self’, this burdened, distracted, jibbering mind that cannot rest. So I slip into his black fur, curl into the large soft pads, the sharp angle of ear, always listening, all the sounds I cannot hear; the pale skin through the fur where it thins around the bottom of his ears, the spread of his wide brow; the eyebrow whiskers, the muzzle whiskers, jet black wires, with just a solitary white one, stark amongst them. The beautiful rhythm of his soft, sleeping body, a secret to itself, a whole beginning and ending, on and on, tail meets face, meets paws, the slope of his back, a flow of being, unending, undivided. So much life pulses from this still, dark sleeper. Life. Energy. There is a potency about him, even in sleep.

The different textures and lengths of his fur, thick here, thinner, shorter there; the broad noble sweep of his nose. The light highlights and darkens the soft slope of muscles; his belly rises and falls calmly, lost in sleep, he relaxes. He is now; he is quiet in his head, with the unspooling present. Tucked up into himself, contained in his curl of being, in the world and elsewhere, together; of his own physical shape and being, there is no separation, he is all cat, he is.  Cat in life, life in cat.

The deep lines of his eyes, lost in the darkness of his face. A black coat reveals so many subtle, rich shades in the sun’s light; odd stray white hairs, here and there break the black. Soft tufts tilt pointedly from the very edge of his ear tips, like a lynx; a memory of wilder ancestry sleeps in his genes, this wild man straddles both worlds. White hairs in his ears, amongst the wonderful, complicated landscape of the inner ear, the whorls and swirls, the veins in the sunlight, these acoustic marvels, receiving signals way beyond my own.

Signs of fighting, a scar, a slit, a missing bit, space where something tore or caught; a bald oval, white skin peeps through, on his leg; a scab, missing fur at the side of his big tufty jowls, a bite from another wild stranger?? Who knows what he gets up to out in his wild world, in the shadow world we mostly do not see, occasionally hear, as a haunting scream in the night. The feral night,  long after we have shut ourselves away and forgot there are many lives out there, whole worlds ignored, never thought about, dismissed. Lives that have endured for way longer than we have; life goes on without us, by shutting ourselves further and further in, we lose this connection that is part of us; we think we are ‘better’, ‘beyond’ that, but we are the ones who lose.

The rough black mats of his paws, twitch in dreams, who knows how many miles they have trod, where they have wandered, what spaces and spirits they have touched…

Long sweep of whiskers, sensitive, strange antennas, communicating their own language.

So I watch. I sink. I unselve, by merging with this marvel before me. I stare, I study, I unburden myself of my self and sink into cat; pure, present, open. He accepts all of me.

It is the only thing to be done. Turn inwards?? No, that’s no good, the very thing I try to escape, turn outwards, to the cat, the bird, the sky, the wind, the tree, the rain. Turn to the momentary world of the wild, the falling away present of creatures and elements.

Poe stretches in his sleep, long and juddery, sighs with contentment, then curls back up and slips into dreams once more. And I pour myself into him, opening up to the landscape of cat, the world of catness that connects so easily to the life beyond the surface, accepting all he experiences with an open consciousness. I travel over his body, second by second, noticing every nuance, each tiny detail. My hand moves re-imagining him on the paper, emerging patterns, reactions that create another Poe; a map of my journey into Poe, away from myself to connect with some deeper shared reality, there is no separation for him. Then I get lost in just watching him, I don’t even bother drawing any more, so deeply have I become fascinated and absorbed by this small, potent, dark being before me. Cat is all, all is cat, and for a short time, that is all that matters.

Not long after writing this I came across this quote –   ‘Nature teaches us many things and animals can become portals through which to observe consciousness.’ Ian Fox

poe2blogpoeblog

Advertisements

4 Comments

Add yours →

  1. This is music and poetically composed, every syllable in tune. A journey into the cat, into ‘the feral night,’ beyond our convoluted world. Thank you. Cats are everything amazing; of royal ranking. And with incredible beauty, you bring us into their being. Lovely.

    • What a lovely comment!! Thank you.
      Cats are amazing aren’t they? I have always loved cats, since always, my first really close relationship with an animal, when I was very young was with a cat. I will never forget him, I still love him just as much and he is always in my heart.

  2. I came back to read this again. It’s so beautiful and I was drawn, hypnotized by your words, until I became cat.

    • Thank you so much, that means a lot to me.
      I wrote this in gratitude to cats, they have always had a special place in my life, always helped me, I always turn to them for solace and they always give it, and that day in particular, I had a ‘bad’ day and just spending time with this wonderful being really unravelled me. I didn’t know if it would really resonate with anyone else, but I’m so happy you found something in it, that inspires me. Thank you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

cat fink KnowTrustChooseCreate

stepping stones in a creative life

Vegan Against The Machine

respect existence or expect resistance

A Patient Voice

is losing its patience.

End Human Supremacism!

Spunky Bunny's Blog about Veganism, Total Animal Liberation, Animal Rights, & the End of Human Supremacism

bluertide

High Tide or Low Tide

Dig Out Your Soul

Vegan Animal Liberation Abolitionist Activist

More than just Badgers

The Accidental Activist

Puzzles of the Soul

Simply be you, live your life simply

DAVID COLES on life

THE RISING OF CONSCIOUSNESS

Mindblogging

A Mindboggling Mindblogging Blog!

315glenroy

Delhi Hills 1952 to 2013

There's an Elephant in the Room blog

Thoughts about veganism. Promoting an end to the use and the property status of members of nonhuman species..

billziegler1947

ziegler.bill@gmail.com

The Bruges Vegan

more than waffles and chocolate

brianandlily

in the dogs' world

DopeLife

Create Your Own Dream Life

Daily Feline Wisdom

Wise cats help you be more like them

Healing Your Pets

Energy healing for animals

The Shameful Sheep

shit storms, shame, and stories that make you cringe

Writings By Ender

The Writer's Adventure

A.C. Stark

Holding The Planet to Reason, Not Ransom

Random Ramblings; Myriad Musings

...my outlet for (almost) everything...

unbolt me

the literary asylum

Making Waves 🌸utreach

FLYERS FOR ANIMAL RIGHTS

cat fink KnowTrustChooseCreate

stepping stones in a creative life

Vegan Against The Machine

respect existence or expect resistance

A Patient Voice

is losing its patience.

End Human Supremacism!

Spunky Bunny's Blog about Veganism, Total Animal Liberation, Animal Rights, & the End of Human Supremacism

bluertide

High Tide or Low Tide

Dig Out Your Soul

Vegan Animal Liberation Abolitionist Activist

More than just Badgers

The Accidental Activist

Puzzles of the Soul

Simply be you, live your life simply

DAVID COLES on life

THE RISING OF CONSCIOUSNESS

Mindblogging

A Mindboggling Mindblogging Blog!

315glenroy

Delhi Hills 1952 to 2013

There's an Elephant in the Room blog

Thoughts about veganism. Promoting an end to the use and the property status of members of nonhuman species..

billziegler1947

ziegler.bill@gmail.com

The Bruges Vegan

more than waffles and chocolate

brianandlily

in the dogs' world

%d bloggers like this: