How Many Times Do We Die Before We Die??

They say a cat has nine lives but I sometimes wonder how many we have. How many times we look death in the eye, brush against it and yet survive for another chance. How many times before it all runs out? I have always been very aware of death, even as a child, and there have been moments when it could easily have succeeded, one small shift and it could have won, but I guess that’s life isn’t it? Living in the faith of tomorrow, the trust of now taking us through, that there is a meaning to what we do? That there is a point to us making plans and having dreams, even though we can never be sure when it will all end but go on anyway. There is really only ever now, always, but we forget that sometimes. We get complacent. Maybe it’s good to be reminded every now and then.
Death says Hello.
To drown on a perfect summer day, as people laugh and play, in the ice cream light and salt sugary sprawl of seaside magic. Still aware of the beauty, the sun glint on waves, the stretch of sheer rock and shore, the sprawling warm sky, the timelessness of being, but danced around the growing fear that we had come too far, too deep and the force was too much for us now. Even though we could still see the shore, all life going on, the busy happiness of the day, we were alone, me and you, and the sea, the great cold clench of this watery mass all around us. It had a power, a presence and had claimed us; lured us too far. Everything could be lost, but what would be gone? Where would we be, as we sunk, deep, deeper, into the sea? Lost cold dreams spilling out into the salty sway; would we ever be found or just swallowed whole by this strange, dark world we had entered, unafraid and too naive, we had offered ourselves to a force we did not understand. We fought and pulled in silence, as the bottom opened up below us, our feet dangled in dark deeps too deep to stand; frozen in place as the numbing water possessed us. The shore a distant horizon, the laughs of children, safe and warm, another world we couldn’t reach; just the vastness of cold ocean, sucking our energy, dragging us back. Our eyes met, we knew without speaking, it was close, we had to keep going. Time stopped, the day held its breath, the only sounds our gasps and splashings. We swam forever without moving, but after an eternity our stretched toes skimmed soft sand beneath and the voices were louder; the thrill wave of hope. Finally, the freezing, shivery hilarity as we sploshed on to the shore, born again, the intensity of the moment making us giddy. We lived, so close, so close to being lost, now we had it all again, it throbbed in front of us, all that life we could claim. I glanced back at the blue-grey swell, teeth chattering, how close it had been and the feeling it knew, it was aware of us, had tasted us and would remember. And a new wisdom of how easily death could enter the sweetest of days, where least expected and never believed, but that death was an opportunist, always waiting, always ready.

                                      What waits??
What waits??


Add yours →

  1. How eloquent. How true. How very descriptive, placing me there, bobbing on the surface, gasping, thrashing, seeing life beyond reach as my own came into question. Very well wrote.

  2. A profound composition, filled with vivid imagery which reveals your heart and what you are going/have gone through. You are an excellent writer and I believe writing our thoughts and feelings on “paper” is therapeutic for the soul; it also helps others who perhaps cannot express their hearts as well as you are able to do.

    We are all very similar at the core of our being: we dream, we bleed, we laugh, we cry, we hope, we despair, we live, we die!


    ❤ carmen

    • Thanks so much for your kind words, they really mean a lot to me.Writing is important to me, especially right now, and you have given me inspiration and encouragement and that is really generous.It’s been quite difficult for me to begin to share my words,even though I have been writing a long time, but I am breaking through finally, and working on other things,some of which I hope to share.Thanks for taking the time to read my post and making such positive comments.

  3. Stunning piece of writing. Yes, life can change in a minute!

    • Thanks for reading and your kind words,they all mean a great deal to me. I’m so glad you got something from it. It has stayed in my mind a long time and kept coming back to me lately as I ponder how swiftly life can change and how we have to try and appreciate what we have,even when it is far from perfect!!

  4. Oh, wow! Very well written and so very descriptive of how our emotions will also play such a huge part in our lives. We sometimes lose focus but must go on. I just found your blog and I’m looking forward to reading more! I certainly hope writing can calm your soul, dear. Blessings to you!

    • Thanks so much for your comments. I do hope you keep coming back!!This blog means a lot to me and the people I have made contact with through it and their amazing blogs. I don’t get as much time as I’d like to post things and read people’s posts but it’s still important to me. So thanks for connecting!! It’s really appreciated!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: