Mad green-eyed starer..worrier..chaser..fretter
Crazy player..food hoover..wall smacker..moth chaser
Lap snuggler..scared hisser..rumbling purrer..stick tickler..game lover
Shadow charger..joy leaper..window watcher..furry alarm clock
Meeter and greeter…tail-high-giddy-to see-you welcomer
Toy thrower and dancer..jumping in your own mad way at imaginary beings living in the tiny bit of plant..
The sneaky,breaking-away curling bit of wallpaper that must be killed….
Dark black-chocolate glow furball,with your white lined lip,perfect white paws,kept spotless,you are many things and so full of life and energy and will..Endurer,survivor,triumpher,battling your own hidden demons but with humour and a willingness to trust and keep on going..
Her small body glows with life and new faith,after being lost and alone.My sharer of days you have to stay now,I can’t let you go,you are entwined in my soul.After your first cries for help,I knew you were meant to be here..your cries melted into me and I felt your loneliness and need,your solitary waiting,dodging and skulking.Hider and hoper,anxious and nervy,edgy and vulnerable..hungry and sad,struggling alone,scurrying back to your dark hole,running from whatever haunted you.Squatting in the middle of the dark,forgotten piles in the shadows,the furthest and deepest you could,to feel nothing could reach you,threaten you.Keeping yourself out of reach,away from harm,locked away with the cobwebbed spiders and secret creepers,making yourself invisible.
My little dark ball of hang-ups and secret,haunting memories,I will watch out for her now and keep her safe.I cannot let a stranger come and take her away,it wouldn’t be right,we are intertwined and I have to find a way of letting her stay.We each have our shadows but together we can make it work.
Slinky walked his long-legged way into my world over a year ago.Wild wanderer,he jumped into my path from nowhere,large and thin,I was fascinated by his somewhat oriental look.The first time I met him,he picked his way along the fence,following me,at my level.I didn’t know about his psyche then and lost blood when he lashed out.He is a strange,complicated cat.I don’t know anything about him,his past is a mystery,his present is unknown.I don’t know where he goes,he walks alone.He appears and disappears like a shadow,but has come some way to trusting me and he lights up my day.
He turns up starving,gobbles down food like it’s the last he’ll ever see,has a wander,a roll,a sit on the wndow-ledge and a few small shared moments of tenderness,as the wild lasher begins to mellow…slightly… You must be patient with Slinky,he has boundaries,issues.Someone nick-named him ‘Devil Cat’,they are afraid of him,don’t like him,but I argue his corner.He has memories he cannot tell,events he can’t explain,a journey that has made him the cat he is today.There is nothing intrinsically bad in him.It is just a reaction formed from behaviour somewhere along the way.His past is a complex story he cannot express,he contains emotions he cannot articulate,memories he cannot undo,playing over the scenarios that made him the way he is;responding ingrained reactions written into his body that he cannot control,a defence mechanism he can’t switch off and he can’t help it,he both wants attention but then can’t handle it,doesn’t know how to deal with it and the only response he knows is to lash out,but there is confusion there,you can see it in his big green eyes.Yet,just occasionally,he has such surprising moments of tenderness,calm and intimacy,it moves me deeply.Get down on his level,let him come to you and he responds..The first time he rubbed his head against mine,the first and only time he sat on my knee for ten minutes,when no-one else was there,secured the roots of love I have for this passing,dark stranger.
He might be unpredictable,intense,troubled,he may still attack on odd occasions,he may never be any more than a fleeting visitor..he has a wildness about him,a free-spiritedness,I can’t imagine you could ever contain or confine him,but he is a survivor.He is interesting,strong and lovable.He’s a law unto himself and he walks his own path but I’ll always be there if he needs me.It is an honour to know him and be allowed a little way into his world.He has padded his way into my soul and his green eyes stare into mine and seem to be saying something,communicating,wanting to be understood.There are moments he seems more than cat,moments when he shares some deep presence.He leaves late in the evening,always calling for a last goodbye before he disappears into his secret world.
It’s not always easy and sweet when you interact with animals,but they are so worth the effort.It’s not their fault,you can’t give up just because it’s not easy.It’s about acceptance and tolerance,not demanding things be how you want them to be,just how they are and accepting they may never be anymore than that,but that is okay.Every being is an individual and giving space,slowing down,having patience,not trying to force things,allowing them to be themselves,with their moods and issues is a good lesson for us all.We come across animals sometimes that are damaged and broken,through no fault of their own and we must show them a different way is possible.We are each on our own soul journey and every being we meet has something to tell us.